Life lessons from the Hotel Industry (… experience, the most brutal of teachers, but you learn, my God, do you learn!)

Life lessons from the Hotel Industry (… experience, the most brutal of teachers, but you learn, my God, do you learn!) 


1) Not every one who puts you in crap is an enemy; equally, not every one who pulls you out of crap is a friend!

A story is told of (or at least as told by one of my directors) a bull (a buffalo bull!) and a bird that were very close friends. As the bull grazed, it would pick ticks along the way which would bite on its skin and cause untold irritation. The little bird would then perch on the bull and pick on the ticks (if you grew up in the village as I did and had lice plucked off your hair, you will know the almost pleasurable last itch as it leaves for good- gross, I know). When the ticks were no more, the bird would then follow closely behind the bull to prey on the insects which would be disturbed out off the grass by the bull’s movement. As it happens when you scratch my back then I scratch yours, the bull and the bird remained very great friends.

One chilly evening, the bird was following closely behind the bull, picking on the insects as usual. The bird was tired after a long days walk and the cold was not helping. The bull had had a good day’s graze and had come from having just enough amount of water. As we all know about bulls when they are well fed and watered, they crap as they walk (several years ago this was vulgarity that would never came off my mouth). And yes, you guessed right, the crap landed right on top of the bird, and the second bit too, and the third. The poor thing was all covered up in that stuff. Tired and cold, it struggled to get out but only managed to uncover its head, then quickly discovered the stuff was warm and it wouldn’t harm to stay there a little longer; the head was out you know.

The bird soon dozed off and the bull slowly grazed away. Then there was this hunter who was walking home dejected after a barren expedition in the wild. He saw this head protruding from crap and stopped to check. He discovered it was a bird and happily pulled it off the crap, cleaned it and cut off its head. It was going to make some nice soup for the hungry little ones.

As you knew from the beginning, the moral of the story is: not every one who puts you in crap is an enemy, he might just be a well fed friend in a jolly mood, not every one who pulls you out of crap is a friend, he might be a very efficient stalker after your very life, and of course, when you get in crap, don’t get too comfy!

And yes, in my industry (and many others I know, as well as life in general), you don’t just get told such stories; you get to experience them too. Kind are the wounds of a friend, even if he hurts you, but when an adversary winks at you, be wary! Without putting too much detail, I have learnt friends will hurt you, and several times for that matter, but you must not wallow in the hurt, you must quickly get out of it or some one who is just out to take advantage of the situation will pull you out, and do you far greater harm. I have also learnt it is far safer to work with tough unrelenting bosses, they mean good, even if they piss you off! (My language again!) Nice bosses who give you a soft landing every time are most likely trying to protect themselves (how gently they clean the crap off you before they chop off your head!), they are making much of you so that you can make much of them and in the process create more pitfalls for you than you will ever know! Crap happens (I have forgotten the French word they use instead of crap), and from the best of our friends and role models (and how random and cruel it looks as they walk unfeelingly off), but it is planned by those who desire no good for us (and how kind and merciful it looks at first) but don’t be deceived, not every one who puts you in crap is an enemy; equally, not every one who pulls you out of crap is a friend!

2) You get crap because you take crap

Again, from one of my high superiors, this apparently did not need too much metaphor! Straight talk it was, you get what you deserve! I have known guests who will ask all manner of contradictions! Six inter-connecting rooms on the ground floor next to the main pool with a good view of the ocean and of course away from the noisy tourists (did i also mention close to the restaurant?). They will make such demands at check in, and refuse to move away from the reception (and throw all the names of who they know and how quickly you will get fired if they complained). When you point out their contradiction, they will quickly point out that the guest is always right, and be careful now. You are quickly sliding into a situation where you will give compensation for delaying them for three hours after a twelve hour flight and God help you if they don’t end up getting food poisoning from food taken by hundreds of other guests without any problem. The end result; full refund with future complimentary rooms to give them an opportunity to prove ‘our’ impeccable service! I know it sounds superfluous but it happens, and not as one off as you might think.

But the best learning point was this one who found a “bed bug” in the room, then was moved to a room which had a “leaking” air conditioner, then delayed for two hours while being transferred to the right room and of course he was hypertensive, and his blood sugar had gone up, and he had taken dose for three days as a result of the trauma, and in one day he had experienced enough trouble to warrant a full stay (4days) complimentary.

He had caused such a stir until he was politely advised, and from the highest quarters, ‘sir, am sorry you are not giving us a fair chance to host you, please check out and get a hotel that will meet your expectations, and am not ready to spend the investors money entertaining you for free’ Trust me, that was enough to bring down the sugar and the blood pressure. The bed bug turned into a fly and the fellow quietly enjoyed his holiday and checked out calmly.

Things get out of hand because we are not firm enough. The crap keeps coming your way only because you keep taking it. ‘I will not take crap’ can be a good New Year resolution. Being a straight talker can resolve a lot of issues! With friends and foes alike! Like wise, learn to keep people who can be forth right with you, they do you more good than the biggest sycophant.



3) What is not checked is not done!

“This is either sabotage, or sheer incompetence!” You can imagine what kind of frustration would elicit such words! The instructions were all very clear, the urgency was adequately communicated, all the right tools were given and the task was not done!

From an (or shall I say the?) MD checking into a room without bed sheets, to a high level government official checking in to find the suite he had booked a month earlier is out of order and no body looks perturbed. Honeymooners checking in to a plain room, it all begs the question, how many MDs do we have? And how many honey moons doe one enjoy in a lifetime?

When I was training I was told, and now I know it to be true! What ever is not checked is not done. Trust every one, but verify everything. Hold every one accountable.

And may be this not just at work but in our friendships and our loves and families as well! You don’t agree on a budget, on a plan or tasks then nothing happens! The money was diverted into a drink or into an unnecessary tenth pair of shoes or the time was spent lazing in front of a TV. Agree on stuff and check to ensure it is done. Hold each other accountable. Trust each other with responsibilities but also check and verify. That is how strong institutions and families and friendships are made by people who have taken each other seriously!




4) If it is too bitter, the after taste might be very pleasurable

This happens to have come from way up there again. It was training on beverages, alcoholic beverages, and to be specific, whiskeys. We were taken through the intricacies of distilling a whiskey and how to taste it and how to drink it. This guy was very passionate about this drink, his drink as he would say. With such as steady voice and a glow on his face he told us his experience drinking whiskey. ‘It is bitter, you know, but it is the after taste that is worth all the trouble.’

With my strong imagination, I would already picture this group of men struggling to gulp down a bitter liquid, and then an hour later, they are all relishing the drink they took a whole sixty minutes ago. “That was lovely, I can hear them say to each, nodding and gazing ahead, mmh, lovely, very lovely, very very lovely! That is sixty minutes after the drink!

And it so happens the bitterest experiences with guest tends to produce happy loyal customers. You quarrel argue and work your head off to turn things around. More often than not, it works. When the guest is leaving, you shake hands, and smile at each other, and you take his next booking, and you know you have a customer for life.

And if you have had a very good friend, you know there is never a deep disappointment where there is no deep love. Each resolved bitterness tends to build up more trust and confidence and at the end of life, through the arguments and struggles and quarrels, you can stare at each other and say, mmh, that was lovely, very lovely, very very lovely! People will wonder what is so lovely, but you will smile and know-it is the after taste!




5) Fail fast! (as the techies would say) - Three options, three attempts

I also learnt that those people who learnt quickly enough what they did not like and what they could not do and quickly went on to what they can do well fair much better than the rest of us. Others indeed discovered what they did very well, and the environment that suffocated their talent and went on to seek the environment that fostered their love.

And this is the greatest lesson of all, learn to fail fast, don’t spend five years doing something you don’t like and will ultimately fail. Figure out what you don’t like in one year and spend the other four years recovering and trying out some thing new.

This I was also taught; try three options, and quickly narrow down to one. The more similar the options are, the harder it is to decide on one, and the more time it takes, and the less difference it makes what ever choice you eventually make (if the options are very different, a lot is at stake in the one than the other, and the decision is easy). If you realize it is getting hard to decide between two options, that’s an indication the options are pretty close and what ever you choose, the difference will not be much. Learn to make a quick decision in such instances, and recoup the disadvantage you may have picked in a quicker implementation, and the more time you get to refine.

If something does not work in three attempts, it may never work. When going down the wrong path, progress can only mean turning back until the point you lost your track. And every step you take backwards, the closer you get to your goal, each step you take forward, the further you get from your goal. Learn to let go and start all over again!

6) Not so honorable! - Be content

Lastly, don’t crave for the positions and the money you see with the big shots. A lot of them are desperate and lonely beyond imagination. I have known some who can’t take the drink they are served, they have to swap with that of an aide! They are crowded every where with body guards and aides and can’t dine in the open and can’t swim in the pool or the ocean. They are hopelessly restricted, suffocated from every side.

And who can fathom the bottomless loneliness that causes our most honorable leaders in the public and private sector to pick call girls and seek all sorts of deplorable pleasures (and risk so much, and pay equally much). What about the unspeakable betrayal to their dutiful wives and how I pray they never discover (or should they?). I think, indeed, godliness with contentment is great gain! That I may learn to seek it!